slytheringsnake:

my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”

and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered

"Maybe i need to use the sleep"

im-not-a-climbing-frame:

landofstarsandrobots:

countries:

No shit Sherlock

in other breaking news, matches can cause fire

Breaking news: Water is wet

im-not-a-climbing-frame:

landofstarsandrobots:

countries:

No shit Sherlock

in other breaking news, matches can cause fire

Breaking news: Water is wet

wise-barrel-maker:

dearness:

qunerdi:

???????

WHAT KIND OF COURT IS THIS

I’m just still in awe that they have chairs small enough to accommodate bees

I love that the other lawyer is mad because he tried three times and failed

blue-author:

dutchster:

roachpatrol:

nentindo:

there’s a news headline generator that mixes words from real news headlines and they are fucking golden

these sound completely legit

WHY IS THE FUTURE

striders:

once a straight boy was tryina holler n he literally texted me the phrase “*turns into a wolf and snuggles your boobs*” like???? buddy you weird as fuck i wasnt interested to begin with but now im fuckin worried about you like what the hell

hatemarriied:

crazy islander girl and her dog in their natural habitat

hatemarriied:

crazy islander girl and her dog in their natural habitat

do you ever just
ffhhhh

xlizardx:

Apparently this is "The clearest photo of Mercury ever taken."

xlizardx:

Apparently this is "The clearest photo of Mercury ever taken."

dave-stridesu:

blink182andbeyond:

cashcutie:

the story of a man and his unlikely friend

He’s probably from Florida

Florida Man Befriends Trespassing But Friendly Orange

dave-stridesu:

blink182andbeyond:

cashcutie:

the story of a man and his unlikely friend

He’s probably from Florida

Florida Man Befriends Trespassing But Friendly Orange

thebreadgod:

Finding a typo in a book

image